Not gonna lie, Starbucks drinks have always baffled me. I’m the girl who orders a black English breakfast tea and took years to say “grande” instead of “medium.” And I’m okay with that. It probably says something about me, something along the lines of: “spent too much time in the UK”, “thinks she’s too good for anything more complex than straight tea,” “student who can’t afford a real drink from Starbucks and loves that a grande tea is the same price as a tall”.
You get the picture.
Curious about the most common Starbucks stereotypes, I asked a few friends who work there and received a whole slew of detailed responses. I edited the list down to student-specific favourites to help you make (largely unfounded) judgements on your neighbours in the library:
For the clean-cut medical or law student with high aspirations. Likely paired with an (almost) edgy briefcase or shoulder bag and well-styled hair.
Caramel Macchiato or Plain Latte
For the average student clinging to a B-average. Think the university equivalent of the real-world commuter who can’t quite afford a mortgage yet thinks one day will and for whom a daily Starbucks is a sign that they’re part of that comfortable yet precarious millennial middle-class.
Soy No-Foam Anything
For the gal always in her leggings and running shoes ready to burst into exercise whenever the desire calls. Probably ordered in a personal cup, or better yet a mason jar with silicon lid. Likely the indulgent addition to a packed lunch of quinoa salad and homemade energy balls.
For the student in peak exam season. Red-eyed, slightly manic and just—trying—to —pull—though. We’ve all been there.
Earl Grey Tea Latte (with optional bran muffin or whole-grain banana bread, to be nibbled at in unreasonably small bites)
For the totally on-top-of things, well-dressed female business student—the girl always in fantastic shape without doing any real exercise who’s going to land a high-flying, high-paying consultancy job straight out of university. (Basically, everything I’m not.)
Dark Roast Caffè Misto
For the all-round nice person. Look out for this one, my friends, they may just have notes to share or, at the very least, smile at you and move their books so you have room to squeeze in beside them.