The 5 Stages Of Finals Season According To Food

When you can’t bring yourself to study anymore—or to even start—procrastinate over food. No one ever encouraged studying on an empty stomach. So while your parents and friends can call you out on extended periods of time on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Netflix—you get my drift—they can’t call you out on preparing a dozen chocolate chip cookies. (Especially if you share your results.) Here are my five stages to eating your way through exams. Consider them five extended courses to keep you afloat during a time of isolation, frustration and despair.

what to eat to get you through exams

Let’s do this

The end of term is a week away. You’ve got this. One? Two? Three more papers? No worries. You’ve already set aside a chunk of tomorrow evening to prepare a study schedule. And, you know what? You’re on such a roll, you’ve even committed to adopting healthy eating habits to suit your healthy study habits. It’s oatmeal and an apple for breakfast, quinoa and roasted vegetable salad for lunch and pan-seared fish for dinner. And no coffee, booze or energy drinks. Heck, you may even snack on an avocado and Greek yogurt.


Let’s keep doing this

The term is over. Now you’re in full study mode. Minus your first exam tomorrow morning—you had to forfeit studying for it in order to finish those one, two, three final papers. It’s cool. You’re cool. Everything’s cool. Even your diet’s still cool. Okay, fine, you had a bottle of diet pop with your last portion of quinoa salad. And then a second when you realized your avocado had turned from under- to overripe. It’s not like you’re drinking regular pop, right? It’s all cool.

Let’s keep doing this…sort of

You’re two exams in with three more to go. The oatmeal is already lost behind boxes of microwave popcorn and canned soup. You haven’t bought—let alone seen—a piece of fruit since the end of the term. It was only two weeks ago, but it feels like years. However, you did manage to order a Caesar salad instead of pepperoni pizza—even when your study buddies caved. However, you did purchase your first energy drink the day before. Nobody needs to know though.

I’m done

There’s one more exam left. Too bad you don’t have any more patience left. Time to pre-order every meal. Although you certainly don’t dine at conventional meal times anymore. Breakfast date at three o’clock, anyone? You eat whatever whenever. You snack as much as your confidence waivers. (Which is a lot.) That said, you do hydrate…with coffee, energy drinks and, yes, the occasional glass of wine. Who cares? You’ll make up for it come May.

Exams are done

Freedom! Bring on the end-of-year socials, dinners out and house parties. You deserve it. Order two desserts. Eat leftovers for breakfast. And double fist seasonal summer drinks. When the celebrations conclude, you’ll be more than ready for oatmeal, salad and tea again.